Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why is sin so sweet?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Has anyone shared his wife with a friend? How was it?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Trump, DOJ threaten Calif. with legal action, fines after trans athlete’s win - The Washington Post

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

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I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fakery

It is common sense that Joe Biden is ruining America and is unfit to be president, but why are the liberals still supporting him when Trump is obviously a much better fit for office?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

New Jersey Man Arrested for Stealing Instruments From Heart - Rolling Stone

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

A 14-year-old created an app that detects heart disease almost instantly - Boy Genius Report

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Don't miss the half-lit first quarter moon rise tonight — Here's what to look for - Space

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Have you ever gone to a porn theater with your wife?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Taylor Swift Won Her Biggest Battle - The Ringer

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can count

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane